Shampoo and condition your strands. You want to start with squeaky clean hair, otherwise your straight 'do will look greasy and grimy.
Give your wet locks a thorough brushing to get out tangles, then work in some straightening emulsion. Since you're rocking an extra thick head of hair, you're going to need to use a heavier product to keep everything straight. Stick to formulas that feel more like lotion instead of the watery, thinner formulas. Also, since you're going to blast your hair with hot air, it's a good idea to spray on a little heat-protective spray.
Switch on your blow dryer and blast your wet locks to get some of the initial moisture out. Straightening dripping wet hair takes a seriously long time. Yet, if you do a little pre-drying, you'll save time and effort. Keep drying until your mane is about halfway dry, then turn off your dryer and slip a nozzle attachment over the top. Putting a nozzle piece on your dryer will let you aim that hot air exactly where you want it for a super sleek blowout.
Gather up the top half of your hair and clip it up and out of the way, so you can get busy with the underneath layer.
Grab a flat paddle brush; place it underneath a one to two inch section of hair, then slowly brush down while you point your dryer's nozzle at the strand. When you get to your roots, curl the brush under just a teeny bit so your ends don't look frazzled. Then, do it again. Keep brushing and drying, keeping your paddle brush pulled tight, until the chunk of hair is totally dry.
Keep on going. Focus on small sections, brushing and drying each section, then un-clip your top layer of hair and do it all over again. With thick hair, this process may take a while. If parts of your hair start to dry before you get to them, give your mane a mist with some water to re-wet your locks.
Add a little shine serum to your 'do once it's all blown out, and add a spritz of regular old hairspray to tame any pesky flyaway hairs. That's it, lady; you're all done.
For a bouncier, more wavy look, try this same trick with a round brush, instead of a flat paddle brush.
Don't ever let your dryer actually touch your hair, even with an attachment. Back that sucker up; otherwise, you're going to burn your lovely locks.